“A risotto of leeks and pancetta” from “Tender Volume I”. With added oesophagus.

Kirstin: I did this because it’s an homage to the first Nigel recipe I ever cooked, my first risotto. It was mushroom and tarragon, or something. In 1994!

Miles (suddenly appearing from nowhere): Mummy, where is your oesophagus?

Kirstin: Shall I show you a picture of it? (Reaches for anatomy textbook)

Tom: I didn’t think I was going to like this. I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of leeks. But it was yum. I’ll eat anything with pancetta in it.

Kirstin: But there was so much of it! Enough for two? Two enormous people, maybe. It could easily be a starter for four. And personally I’d have put more pancetta in it.

Miles (pointing at the textbook, a gruesome book of pictures of dissected cadavers from Kirstin’s medical-school days): Is that the oesophagus?

Kirstin: No, that’s the aorta.

Tom: It’s a good thing I’ve finished eating. That’s enough to put you off your food, that is.

Miles: When somebody is opened, why is everything this colour?

Kirstin: Because that’s the colour you are inside. This is rubbish, I can’t find any pictures of the oesophagus! There’s a little bit of it there, going into the stomach.

Miles: Where’s the stomach acid? I want to see a brain!

Kirstin: Why do you want to see the brain?

Miles: Because I love the look of it! It looks like a piece of cauliflower!

Tom: Good thing this wasn’t cauliflower risotto.

Kirstin: Here we go! Look! Sliced up brain.

Miles: It looks like a piece of cauliflower!

Tom: So, cauliflower and brain risotto. How about that for a recipe?

Kirstin: With eyeballs. Look, there’s an eyeball!

Tom: So, would you do this one again?

Kirstin: No. It’s not special enough. But if I did, I’d halve the quantities, except for the pancetta, which I’d double.

Tom: You can never have too much pancetta.

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“A risotto of leeks and pancetta” from “Tender Volume I”. With added oesophagus.

2 thoughts on ““A risotto of leeks and pancetta” from “Tender Volume I”. With added oesophagus.

  1. This looks lovely, gruesome details included 😆 I am experimenting with veggie pancetta, so I may well give it a go! Sorry Tom, but I love leeks, I could eat them every day!

  2. J says:

    Quite agree, can never have too much pancetta. I like your justification for not repeating the recipe due to it not being special enough, that’s a good way of putting it, there’s so many recipes out there to try, to waste that valuable cooking time on food that you discover isn’t special enough would be wrong.

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