Anna: This has been a complete disaster. From start to finish.
Anna: You need a drink. And I am developing a stye from the stress, and in sympathy with Miles.
Kirstin: We won’t be making this again.
Anna: So, we think the pan measurement was incorrect; the cake was too flat and cooked too quickly. It should have probably been in a smaller cake tin. It burnt. Even though we took it out of the oven 15 minutes early.
Kirstin: Then the Mousse Debacle began. The first lot of chocolate seized when we put the egg yolks in, even though it had been cooling for about an hour.
Anna: I tried to whisk it into submission, but that just turned into a big brown turd-like lump.
Kirstin: Then we bought more chocolate. And eggs.
Anna: I ran down to the nice Indian man. He was very sympathetic.
Kirstin: And tried again. Only added two egg yolks this time.
Kirstin: Do you think it could be our fault twice, or do you think maybe there’s an problem with the recipe?
Anna: Haven’t got the energy to care anymore. You got the wrong type of double cream too. So I ran down to the nice Indian man a second time. I explained we were having a cooking disaster. He offered me a bag.
Kirstin: We’ve started to think about all the other Bill chocolate recipes that have gone wrong. We’re going to stick to his baking, but forget any of his recipes with chocolate.
Zoe: Do you know what? You’ve done yourselves a favour. The calories in this… you’d have to run for a week!
Anna: I’m doing his brownies next week.
Kirstin: Uh-oh! Does it involve melting chocolate? Good luck!
Anna: The problem is when you have to add eggs to chocolate. I can’t bear to think about it anymore.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER…
Kirstin (on the phone to Anna): Do you know the problem with that cake was that it was trying to be Nigella’s Easter Egg Nest Cake and just failed at every point. I served it up, but it was so heavy we didn’t progress to more than one slice each.
Anna: But it was chocolate cake. Everyone loves chocolate cake…
Kirstin: Ah yes. But not THIS chocolate cake. I won’t be making this again.
Anna: Neither will I.
Kirstin: I’m going to try one of his non-chocolate cakes though. Those are always good!